This blog post has sat in my drafts folder for several months already. I guess I kept waiting for things to get better and instead write a more uplifting post, but that has not happened yet.
I did not expect that I would struggle so much with this move. You may remember how excited I was to move out of Alaska to Minnesota when we announced our move back in June. I thought it would be a seamless transition and if anyone would struggle it would be Craig. (Ironically, he’s been fine through this all.)
We are now six months into being in Minnesota, and I still struggle every day. I miss my friends and my people in Alaska (hair stylist, doctor, dentist, sports chiropractor–all of them). I miss having our church community in the same town. (We now drive an hour to get to church.) I miss the mountains. I miss our house. I miss the drinking water (haha). I miss having more stores and amenities close by. I miss the running community. I miss having more places to run. And mostly I just miss our old life back there.
Looking back on other times I’ve moved, I’ve never done well with the transition and change. When I first moved to Alaska, it was extremely hard for me as I got married, got a new job, moved a long way away from friends and family, moved to what felt like a foreign country at the time, and it was EXTREMELY hard. Looking back on it, I don’t even know how I kept going. There were many dark and lonely times when I first lived there. At least now I have my family and a job I love, but I am still struggling.
Every day I pray that I will feel better, but I still wonder if we made the right decision. I know it doesn’t help we are still living with my parents as we search for a place of our own. I am hopeful once we get settled in our own house I will start to feel some weight lifted off my shoulders, but for right now things are hard.
But it is in these times we grown the most, right?! I am hopeful I can look back on this blog post in 6 months or a year from now and things will have improved, but right now, this is how I am feeling, and if you have recently moved, know I can probably empathize with you.
Wow, this post really resonates with me! I wonder every day if we made the right choice. Moving is hard, and I keep waiting to find my tribe. It’s lonely being the new person. Everyone I meet I find myself thinking “maybe they’ll be my friend”. I am trying not to rush it, but I am waiting for this to start feeling like home. At five months in, we are still not there. Hang in there, it nowhere but up from here!
I’m glad we get each other. :/ I feel like I could have written a whole book on this but the emotions are almost too raw to write more. I have that same thought every time I meet new people! I hope we can both look back in a year and find ourselves in a better place. <3
Hi! I felt compelled to comment because we just finished a home renovation during which we spent the last 2 months living with my in laws (who I love!) and IT WAS BRUTAL. I felt depressed, anxious and in general completely regretful of every decision I was making with our renovation while we lived with them. It was like I became a different person not having any margin to process things in my own space. My nerves felt raw, constantly. I’m guessing that your struggle is being compounded immensely by not living in your own home; that holding pattern and the identity shift in living with parents again is really a tough thing (says my therapist, too!). I hope that is actually a hopeful thing to hear, that once you can start to actually settle and craft your own home, you’ll maybe be able to feel more rooted and grounded emotionally in your new city, too. It’s so tough to live in “survival mode” for so long. I hope you have a few great moments of hope and joy this week!
Thank you for this! It’s also weird that my ‘new city’ is the town I grew up, so I am also processing those emotions about being back where I grew up. :/
Think of all the positive things you need to be thankful for -your health, your family. Check into “mindfulness ” cards. I know many people find them helpful. Kathy
I am definitely thankful those these things, and it is these things that have kept me going!