Out of my Control

October 18, 2011

I’ve been in a funk lately. . . . .

– work has been stressful (and I am having a hard time finding the physical and mental energy to teach each day),

– I am dreading the onset of winter,

– the days are getting noticeably shorter,

– I want to move out of state,

– I hardly feel like I any extra time in my day,

– and I just feel blah!


I wish there was something I could do about it, but many of these things are out of my control. . . .

– it is only October and I still have a long ways to go until the end of the school year,

– I cannot change the season or the amount of daylight we have,

– it isn’t like I can move right now,

– I am trying very hard to give myself some “me” time in the evening,

– but I still just feel like I am going through the motions and am numb more or less of the time.


I know I should tell myself to suck it up and make the best of it, but honestly I’ve been doing that for so long, I’m exhausted. I am just ready to give up!

These are the things I have tried to do to lighten the stress load:

– run with a friend a few times a week,

– take high levels of Vitamin D (although I honestly do not feel like it is helping),

– make a point to keep up with my running and healthy eating regime (I know I would be worse off without them.),

– and vent to Craig (but try not to take my frustrations out on him).


I don’t write these things to have you take pity on me but to rather simply be real with y’all. I want to share the highs and lows and not make it seem like life is fine and dandy all the time.

I know we all have our stressors in life, and my stressors may be minor compared to someone else’s, but they still weigh heavy on my shoulders. 🙁


So let’s move on to something else before this entire post becomes an entire “debbie downer” post.

This morning, I got up and ran 6 miles at an easy 9 minutes/mile pace.


I’ve said before that this is a slower pace than what I thought I was running.

But this morning I couldn’t help but wonder if my pace would be faster if I could wait a couple of hours before heading out for my run in the morning. Then maybe my legs would have a chance to wake up a bit and the blood would start flowing a little more. I guess I’ll just have to wait until the summer to test that theory I guess.

I’m off to go on a walk with Craig while it is still light out.

Good night!

    1. im sorry you’re feeling so blah lately. I cant imagine how hard it must be when the days get even shorter. I hope you get out of your funk soon and enjoy your days

    1. I’m sorry you’re still having a hard time with all the stuff going on and the weather. 🙁 It’s never easy to just “accept” a crappy work situation when you have to be there 40ish hours a week. Hope you feel a little better soon!

    1. sorry that you’ve been feeling blah lately. 🙁 hopefully something good will happen soon!!

    1. I hear you with the lack of time. I find myself saying that a lot lately while I keep piling more projects on myself. It’ll get better!!

    1. If it makes you feel better, the winter blahs are hitting me too. Do you know I found out that a person gets 20,000 ius of vitamin D from a half hour spent in the sun? We can’t possibly match that with our 2,000-4,000 ius they say we need in Alaska.

      I hope you get through this winter. Guess what? There’s a new yoga studio that just opened! We should check it out sometime.

      1. Oh, wow! That’s really interesting about the vitamin D IUs. My aunt’s doctor told her to take up to 5000IUs but that still doesn’t even come close.

        Did this yoga studio offer a Groupon the other day? I did purchase a Groupon a few days ago for yoga.

    1. Sorry you are feeling like that. I get that way at times…good that you have been running with friends, I wish I had someone to run with me on weekday mornings. I find that taking a yoga class, prayer, getting a spur of the moment pedi, (glass of vino?) takes the edge off a bit.

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